What should I do when a homosexual family member brings his/her partner home?

Strong families are not defined by their composition. The repeal of 377A poses no threat to families bound together by love. It is the continued stigmatisation of LGBT people that you are perpetuating that is a threat to families – because you have placed obstacles in how parents understand their children who are different, and created huge rifts in these families.

~ Rev Miak Siew, Executive Pastor
Free Community Church which endorses homosexual relationships

For those who hold to the traditional yet timeless view that family constitutes father, mother and children, your belief alone will often be construed as harsh and alienating. It is thus important that you openly share your stand as gently and early as possible, while strongly affirming your love and acceptance of the homosexual family member.

Bringing a same-sex partner home is likely a nerve-wracking experience for all concerned. You have to decide what you are comfortable with in your home.

  • Talk the situation over as a family. Are all family members aware of the situation? If not, do they need to be? Have all concerned had a chance to share their feelings about the matter?
  • Establish boundaries and expectations prior to the visit. You might want to welcome your family member’s partner as a guest, but not be prepared to have him/ her stay overnight. Communicate that gently and firmly to your family member.
  • Present a united front. Regardless of the decision you make, it must be a family decision. Conflicting messages from family members can drive a wedge between you and your loved one at the very time you’re trying to demonstrate your love for them. 1


1. Mike Haley, 101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality(Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 2004)