Why do some “straight” men/women turn to homosexuality after being married?

Women need someone they can talk to, share their feelings and feel safe with. When their marriages become emotionally unfulfilling, it can cause them to look outward for “someone who understands”. This is often in another man, but in some situations, women who have never engaged in or even thought about emotional or sexual attraction to another woman, may find themselves involved in a same-sex relationship. Married women rarely leave their husbands because of unresolved same-sex sexual attractions.

Most men who leave the commitment of a marriage for a homosexual relationship do so after having struggled with unresolved same-sex sexual attractions for some time. Many of these men were aware of their same-sex sexual attractions even before they got married, but felt forced to hide or deny their feelings in the hope that they would disappear. After years of suppressing their feelings, this unresolved same-sex sexual attraction resurfaces.

Men must enter into marriage with a woman to complement their masculinity, not fix it. Unresolved same-sex sexual attractions will not be removed simply by entering into marriage. In fact, this is one of the surest ways of preventing any man from experiencing the closeness and intimacy he longs for and needs from his wife. A man who struggles with homosexual attraction should therefore consider marriage only after he has worked through his feelings.1


1. Mike Haley, 101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality(Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 2004)