What should I do if I think that a friend is a practising homosexual?

Find an appropriate time to broach the subject. Here’s what you shouldn’t do: Just walk up to your friend and blurt out, “Hey, you’re gay, right?”1 As ridiculous as this may sound, some well-intentioned people have done this. The damage done by this approach can be irreparable. This is a sensitive topic regardless of whether your suspicions are true, and can humiliate the other person.

Educate yourself. Homosexuality is a manifestation of deeper issues in your friend’s life. Your goal is not to expose your friend’s homosexuality but to unearth and attend to the underlying problems.

Look beyond the behaviour. Your conversation should not focus on homosexuality. Attend instead to the core of the problem. Fixating on homosexuality is like trying to relieve the symptoms but not address the cause.

Continue reading “What should I do if I think that a friend is a practising homosexual?”

What practical help can I offer someone struggling with unwanted same-sex sexual attraction?

Many who struggle with same-sex sexual attraction have experienced rejection, whether intentional or otherwise through careless words and attitudes. Peer friendship and mentoring is the best and most practical way you can help your friend who is struggling with same-sex sexual attraction, desires and feelings.1

  • Read together a relevant book on homosexuality sexuality or identity. Help them think beyond human sexuality in your discussions about their involvement in homosexual activities. The issue is not homosexuality per se but God’s overarching design for humanity and His unique plan for the individual.
  • Take time just to enjoy life and one another’s company. Have lunch or coffee together, catch a movie, go shopping, hang out with the guys/gals. Spending all your time together working on the “issue” will exhaust both of you.
  • Spend time together with other people of the same sex, e.g., through social, community or bible study groups.
  • Affirm their worth, that it is more than their sexuality or gender identity. Recognize and celebrate their positive qualities, and acknowledge how you appreciate their presence in your life.

How Men Can Help a Struggling Lesbian

A disproportionate number of lesbians have been sexually abused, often by men. Hence you need to be especially sensitive to how you interact with them.

Continue reading “What practical help can I offer someone struggling with unwanted same-sex sexual attraction?”